Currently Browsing:Conflict

Why Bother with Yellow Flowers When You Really Want a Turtle?

“Would you take me to go look at the yellow flowers?” It seems like a simple request, but it was, in fact, perfectly tailored to meet both my nephew’s needs and his in the moment. I was visiting my family.  My mother had suggested that I go look at the yellow flowers in her garden […]

When in conflict, ask yourself, “What are the unmet needs?”

When you are in conflict, what are your unmet needs?  What are the unmet needs of the person with whom you are in conflict? You may think that when you are arguing with your spouse about the dishes not getting done, that it is all about the dishes getting done. It isn’t. There are probably […]

Are you trying to defy the laws of gravity in your conflict?

In their book, “Designing Your Life,” authors Burnett and Evans talk about “gravity problems,” things like gravity that you cannot change no matter how hard you try.  If you trip and fall, you fall down, not up.  That is just the way it is.  You can waste a lot of time and energy railing against […]

Post-Election Conflict

We have been through the most divisive election I have seen in my lifetime.  I am still trying to make sense of all of it — the lead up, election night, and the country as it stands now, still sharply divided. I have seen posts from people across the nation whose families are sharply divided […]